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journal/Archive/Journal/2924-02-12.md
Thaddeus Hughes 608c43a71f init
2025-10-09 20:43:40 -05:00

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# 12FEB2024
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVOMIT
BLEH
keverythgin sucks am adI juist dont want to do anything
except maybe plant some wood
or
something
i just want to be in the shop
amybe
i can
d io things there
i dkont want t io computer
i dont want to
i dont want to face the jkfailures o fthe past ywear
i dont want them to exist
i want want to face the failures of the past decade
nothing ha panned out
at all
nothing bore fruiit
i feel the same way did a year ago
wHY CANT I DO ANYTHING
groaning pains of icarnate existence
transencendce cooped up in a human body
and in time
beguiled by the demonic
oppressed
by the world
and by the demonic
how is this a cross
this is nto eveating
this is onoy5 degredatory
i see problems
maybe
ashes
ashes
ashes everywhere
out of the ashes we must come
there is no fertility left it seems
the seeds must be imported
and the soil unworked
ashes
to dirt
to soil