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journal/Archive/2023-08-16.md
Thaddeus Hughes 608c43a71f init
2025-10-09 20:43:40 -05:00

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Stagnant.
what
do
you
think
you
are
a
failure?
yeah
i know that's not what God thinks
not what he wants me to think
and yet
i am sitting here
alone
unmoving
having made a choice
or rather, set of choices
and then
unhappy
with them
i prayed a prayer a month ago
for the LORD to bring me back to Illinois
and now
I regret it
and yet
I don't
it's strange
I'm not mad at my parents
or sister
I'm... sad
and I don't know how to express that
without being
an elitist
snob
especially because
at the core
i am not much better
but I am pointed in the right way
i think
my desire
is that they point in the right way as well
and those around them too
that we be shaken up from our apathy
and fight for something glorious
for our LORD
can it be done?
can the battle be won?
I know God is on my side
But what is he calling me to?