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journal/Archive/14Oct2025.md
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2025-10-27 16:26:47 -05:00

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  • Write
    • what I thunk of the farm
    • what I think of SC as a concept
    • what I think of SC as a business
    • what I think I should do, what the future could look like, how to ride it
  • Listen to Anxiety
  • Read SC agreement <<<<<<< Updated upstream <<<<<<< Updated upstream
  • ======= =======

Stashed changes

https://substack.com/home/post/p-171966411

Journaling

People create their problems by having the wrong attitude before God.

I have been given the gift of some time here in the afternoon on a sunny Tuesday in the middle of harvest. Thank you.

Repentance

Lord, I repent of sentimentalism. Of looking for right feelings. Of trying to feel my way into the right course of action. The emotions are calls for investigation. They are not investigation. I repent that I have misused them.

That doesn't mean they should be disregarded. In fact I have disregarded them in many ways.

Raw gut feelings

Here are some raw gut feelings I have. They may or may not be accurate.

  1. The farm is really disordered. It is too big. It is too empty. We run too hard during harvest.
  2. My father is not well-equipped to manage a work crew.
  3. Stock Cropper is not a very good idea as it currently exists. If it is to exist it needs a drastic tech scale-back.
    1. A tech scale-back in a tech company? This is weird. It may be right and just but it raises fundamental questions.
    2. Animals need space to roam.
    3. What is the goal here? What are we trying to serve? What are we trying to do?
    4. Is the noncompete OK?
  4. I am ordering so much stuff from Amazon and other outside entities in general. It takes a lot of tools to make things work around here.
  5. Do I just need to directly work to make a living / help those around me?
    1. can it be the farm?
    2. can it be engineering stuff?
    3. it can't be this grain farming nonsense
  6. Am I going to need to leave here?
    1. I am not really tethered still
    2. But I still feel somewhat responsible for my family. They are a mess.
  7. Are my talents of more use ecclesially? Particularly, taste, intellect, virtue
  8. Sheep aren't gaining like they ought to be.
  9. I'm not helping THF like I ought to be.
  10. I'm stretched thin.
  11. I have no social life right now.
  12. My social prospects are not well.
  13. Everything is becoming fake.
  14. We need to solve real problems, not move deck chairs. What are the real problems?
    1. Lack of togetherness
    2. Lack of good food
    3. Lack of good work
    4. Lack of good spaces
    5. Food. Work. Spaces. Music and liturgy too. But food. Work. Spaces. These are the basics.
  15. Ousett's Action is convicting.

The pressing questions

  1. Do I take the SC agreement, or leave it?
  2. Do I move out of the house (either to Joyce, or Kathy's)?
  3. What do I need to focus on?

What is the most impressive/important angle?

Item 14 above. Solve real problems, don't move deck chairs. Quality food, work, spaces. How to get here?

A direct approach - same place, different focus?
  • Move more acreage over to livestock production
  • Build a house - no, build several houses - build a neighborhood
The things that are in front of me
  • Build up StockCropper
  • Use that tech to convert acreage to livestock production
I feel like I need better options.
The room holds us, but sometimes, that’s not why we stay. We actually stay because we don’t yet know how to live without its framing.

I don't need to solve everything now But I also shouldn't make excuses...

Make no compromise with evil

Listing perspectives

  • You SHOULD - it has been presented to you
  • You SHOULD - it is a way to knit your talents with the right direction
  • You SHOULD NOT - it is not really the endpoint; it is too technologically complicated
  • You SHOULD NOT - it is not a shape of work that you can pass on
  • You SHOULD NOT - it is not social enough
  • You SHOULD - there can be other fruits that come of this
  • You SHOULD - it is a way to grow in knowledge and ability to make things
  • You SHOULD NOT - you need to be invested and in the driver's seat <<<<<<< Updated upstream
  • You SHOULD NOT - you are too geographically decentered

Stashed changes =======

  • You SHOULD NOT - you are too geographically decentered

Stashed changes