Empty Thine Head

Farm in illinois is not self-sustainable and requires a lot of external inputs, and doesn't even feed itself
Marissa doesn't really know where she's going in life
A lot of young people don't really know where they're going in life
I don't really even know where I'm going in life!
House in Illinois is falling apart, too cramped, need a bigger one
Wapella could be a promising small Catholic community. It is 20 minutes away though.
The farm is a pretty decent distance from Peoria and Wapella and Bloomington and Lincoln. It's not trivial - but it's not super far either.
- Could be a neat option for a retreat poustinia
The farm is neatly positioned with respect to Funks Grove and Funk farms. Could have an industry/distribution cluster for farm-to-table food, with partnership with Funk Farms and Heritage?
There seems to be a number of machine shops and the like opening up
If you stay outside of the big cities, property is pretty cheap
I'm interested in making good, quality, flat-packing furniture. Marrying traditional / proper design to modern flat-pack-ability.
- This, honestly, is probably a bigger niche than you realize it could be.
I don't really know how to do the marketing stuff. I think I'm also fearing success. Or I don't like the aesethics of success. Wanting to be the starving artist. That's not a good thing.
I'm vaguely interested in making buildings.
Going into structural engineering is a possibility - either via a master's, or with self-study and the FE exam. This would be a 5-year process to get licensed.
I'm really just interested in everything. It does seem like the agrarian lifestyle lends itself towards this and actually being able to wrestle with it all.
living in an M-C-M world is way too abstract and confusing with regards to day-to-day life. Going back to C-M-C would do wonders for my mental and spiritual health.
John Deere and other equipment manufacturers are going the direction of apple. Can we go the direction of Linux - open source hardware?
I'm wondering if I should spend some time with an intentional community to understand some things better. This could be a winter activity, I suppose? Although the viability of that could depend greatly on the community, and their ties to the seasons. There's a Catholic Worker house up in Chicago that's affiliated with Tradistae.
I do need to involve my friends in prayer and understanding what I am to do next.
I will need a good spiritual director, and in particular, one who is committed to the Catholic Worker movement / mindset; who 'gets' the economic considerations.
- Jacob, Adam, or Tradistae could be helpful in seeking one out. Doesn't need to be physically close / constant even though that is nice. Deeply shared values are more important than proximity, here.
"we simply must find new ways of embedding the Gospel in, or rather, of allowing the Gospel to be, the social fabric, of real local communities, or face the real possibility of not being able to practice the Faith at all" - Peter Maurin
I am the heir of my family - millions that go with it. Magnanimity is owed. To whom shall I give it? And my family needs to live off it in the meanwhile. The best path forward for my family and community is in fact, to tend after this wealth and allow God to steer it into something which is a helpful thing for my community around me. Religious life is probably not the way.
I can still be a third-order franciscan or something of the like.
I should talk to the franciscans out here about that possibility.
The New Polity community understands the call - and is better equipped to live the call - than Lectio is. A group of people of the same age get along for a while, but can become crabs in a barrel. I need to balance same-age and different-age relationships.
I am better equipped to live the calls I am recieving in Illinois than in New Hampshire.
Government will always suck no matter where you are - unless you dig in and fix it.
Money is not the end-all; and Christ does not call us to subsistence, but abundance. MAY YOU HAVE LIFE ABUNDANTLY!
I'm interested in livestock. Cows and chickens, in particular. But we may need to look into more esoteric ones as well.
Permaculture is probably the way. It's dense and provides a number of outputs with less tending.
I do not want to justify my lifestyle with the Gospel. I want to have my lifestyle be transformed by the Gospel. I see so many people - increasingly, my people in NH - concerned about sin rather than obedience to the Logos. It is hard to find people who will walk that way.
Actually hang on, I know a few. Harrison for sure. Nathaniel is a bit too - though I see him as more just open. Kylie is kinda that way.
I hear my dad talk of opportunity, and while I am attracted to it for financial gain, I also recognize simply that this is good activity to benefit my community. I hope that it is true that I recognize the potential good to community over the financial benefit to myself.
I know I'd need time to re-immerse in the community in Illinois. I'm not sure what the best way to do this would be. Would it be to get a job, and if so, where?
- Local machine shops that need an engineer?
- How do I build a relationship with the local farmstand-like places?
Build the things that serve community after immersing in it, rather than as an imposition on it. But you can still start tooling up livestock and permaculture regardless as that's a family and self serving activity.
There do seem to be some good catholic communities out of Peoria to pull from. Heck, you ran into a guy on the NP discord who's in the area. There are folks walking the walk - walk with them!
If I go to IL, I'm probably not going back. I'm probably going to die there. I think I'd be okay with that.
I really hate when people say "oh so you escaped the farm" when I tell them I came from a farm.
I would be very sad to raise children not on a farm. It would feel so alien and wrong.
I don't understand our farm well. I would do well to take some time and really sift through the plats we have, the agreeements we have, the numbers we have.
It could be a really great idea for many reasons if I shadowed my mom and did the book-keeping for the farm.
I really, really, really don't want to silo myself and be good at only one thing. It irks me to no end, actually. I'm fine being shown up in certain areas at this point but I despise being utterly inept.
All of our choices and actions limit our choices and potential... but industrial society silos, not just limits. There's no upper advancement for the jack of all trades - just graduation to self-employment or self-sustenance.
I really don't like hobbies - I like doing things for a need or some other sake, not for the thing's own sake. And this is a good thing; I'm not wrong, Aristotle is.
You are the product of the people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with good influences.
Will I have good influences?
Will I have the opportunity to find a good wife?

Practical Output

What do you want, basically, and why?

I want to carry on the work of tilling and keeping the land and lifestyle of my father and grandfather. Moreso, I want to have it constantly and utterly transformed by Jesus Christ.

Because, as Peter Maurin puts it: "We must find ways of allowing the Gospel to be the social fabric of real local communities or face the possibility of not being able to practice the faith at all." While the farm is the foundation of society, it must hold this as central. This isn't to say that we have "done something wrong", per se - but only to recognize that in going forth, how we build should resemble the Kingdom of God, not the Nations of Man.

The farm is the basis of this community; it is the material source of the most essential thing: Food. The shop forms the basis of the next higher things: shelter and clothing. I do understand the latter perhaps better, but the former is still foundational. We've forgotten how to do many things, and so re-learning will be necessary, but learning how to do things,so that I can support those around me, is always exciting.

Immediate possibilities

I understand that I need some time to re-meet people and re-acclimate, and understand what those around me need, before imposing my will on the world.

Come back for harvest
- Be more involved with record-keeping; pay more attention to what the land is like
Work for a local machine shop
Build a house
Get chickens (cows?) on the pasture

Potential long-term possibilities

These are more sorts-of-things-that-interest-me than goals.

Build a timber-framed house for my parents, and a house for myself/future family, and a house for my sister and hers, in decent proximity
Make a poustinia / retreat center on Moberly's
Animals: cows, chickens on the old pasture
Build permaculture on a few acres of our land
Launch a furniture business that makes flat-pack, heirloom-quality furniture
Build a crop-share program that sells to the B-N area, and/or Lincoln, Clinton - from a few different local farms
Something like Justin's bee business (nonprofit that gives you a tax writeoff for having bees on your property in exchange for a donation). Could also be for vegetable gardens.
(Re)build reasonable housing around Wapella and McLean which is centered around the Church; run it as a non-usurious rent-to-own program.
Build a parallel 4H program that is focused intently on life skills through a theological lens; the College of St. Isidore the Farmer / Society of St. Isidore
Ag-based homeschool co-op or boarding school
Develop a line of agricultural equipment, or an open-source-hardware movement for tractors and other farm implements.
Find a wonderful woman and raise wonderful children!

Aspects of a future that I wish to avoid

FAILURE TO HEED THE GOSPEL RESULTS IN SPIRITUAL DEATH IN THIS WORLD AND THE NEXT.

Isolation from others; living as an island
Just sustenance without a why; lacking something higher and worth pursuing on a day to day
Dependence on non-loving entities
Urban plastic wasteland
Bourgeious luxury

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