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journal/Archive/Journal/2024.10.23 - 3 goals 1.md
Thaddeus Hughes 608c43a71f init
2025-10-09 20:43:40 -05:00

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In 90 seconds for each question:

  1. What do you want to experience in life? God's presence Harmony A deep sense of belonging Fellowship with people who see the truth of the world The most intimate of truths

Real community, working together with people with shared vision and goals

  1. How do you want to grow and develop yourself?

  2. How do you want to contribute to the world?

================

These questions Seem Wrong I don't seem to want to answer them And the answers I have are... "Contentless". Abstract. Not concrete. (Cue text messages with Fr. Friedel)

Resonance. That's probably the right way to approach it. What do you resonate with?

  • Ecological / holistic / top-level-design / architecture thinking
  • Getting to "the bottom" of things
  • Sitting with a problem, not rushing to solve it
  • Simplicity. Roughing it ifneedbe.

What do you have consonance with?

  • Rote, exacting steps - even or especially if they're rhythmic

These are perhaps the questions which are right:

  1. What does God want you to experience in this life?

  2. How does God want you to grow and develop?

  3. How does God want you to contribute to the world? ... And of course, much more difficult to ascertain. But.

  4. What does God want you to experience in this life? Repentance. Metanoia. Change of heart. A taste of His ways. These are all necessary. (God is, of course, superabundant, and so He will have more...) Already:

  • Going back to confession
  • Quitting engineering

Perhaps these questions are stages of life. And I am only in the first one yet still...

God, I am here. Beckon your servant and send him forth. Or draw him nearer yet, that he may understand Your will. That I may perform great or small works, that I may direct myself, that I may grow into the being you would like to see, a part of yourself, a member of your glorious community, a member of your mystical body. I have identified myself as an "engineer" for a very long time. I pride myself on being a "jack of all trades". But when the pedal meets the metal. I cannot see myself as anything else. LORD GOD, Helpo me to see myself, to envision myself, to imagine myself, as you do - CAPAX UNIVERSI - may this permeate me. May this come over me in entirety. May I come through this and understand the purpose you have for me.

Perhaps the original framing is not so bad.

  1. What do I want to experience? The sunrise. Lambing. Growing trees. Developing land. Building a house. Working with friends. Working with people who "get it". Picking fruit. Eating food I raised. Maybe that is enough for tonight.