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Archive/Self-Authoring.md

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+# Virtues
+ Have excellent ideas  
+ Can always see new possibility in things  
+ Do not feel that I always have to be in control  
+ Am entrepreneurial  
+ Have a soft heart  
+ Do what I say I am going to do  
+ Am a very loyal friend  
+ Love children  
+ Make people feel at ease  
+ Can take charge and lead  
+ Feel at ease with people  
+ Like to invite people out or at home to socialize  
+ Do not dominate conversations  
+ Am comfortable alone  
+ Enjoy time in natural surroundings  
+ Do not always need to seek excitement or novelty  
+ Do not always have to be the center of attention  
+ Am full of ideas  
+ Am philosophically inclined  
+ See the value in tradition and custom  
+ Do not believe in change for the sake of change  
+ Am stable in my moral beliefs  
+ Am concerned that my parents or relatives approve of my decisions  
+ Am a down-to-earth person  
+ Am very goal-oriented  
+ Am not too uptight  
+ Know how to go with the flow  
+ Don't waste my time thinking about little details  
+ Am content with my physical appearance, despite its flaws  
+ Am difficult to offend  
+ Am very careful with my sexual behavior  
+ Don't rush into things before I feel comfortable  
+ Am on good terms with nearly everyone  
+ Sympathize with others' feelings  
+ Truly care about others  
+ Do not always believe what people promise  
+ Can be demanding when the circumstances warrant
+ 
+# Faults
+ Have a hard time planning for the future because I am interested in everything  
+ Am too quiet around strangers  
+ Sometimes every thought I have immediately suggests an overwhelming number of ideas  
+ Let my fears stop me from doing things I want to do  
+ Am without real ambition  
+ Have too little to say  
+ Could be a better listener  
+ Compare myself unfavorably to other people  
+ Can bottle up my feelings until I become resentful  
+ Have a hard time making up my mind because I can always see all the sides of an argument  
+ Sometimes act without thinking  
+ Can be too theatrical or dramatic  
+ Don't laugh much or have fun  
+ Have a difficult time starting conversations  
+ Pursue too many activities at the same time  
+ Am interested in so many things that I don't know what to focus on  
+ Am sometimes attracted by ideas that are radical but have not been thought through  
+ Can become possessed by an idea  
+ Daydream too much  
+ Have had a hard time forming a clear identity  
+ See connections between things too easily  
+ Am too perfectionistic  
+ Get obsessed with details and lose the big picture  
+ Feel that I am being unproductive if I relax  
+ Leave my belongings around  
+ Surf the web or watch TV or waste time in other ways even if I have a project due  
+ Neglect my duties  
+ Often procrastinate  
+ Waste my time  
+ Have few clearly defined goals  
+ Have found myself in dangerous situations because I was not paying attention  
+ Often feel depressed and blue  
+ Avoid conflict even when it is necessary  
+ Cannot negotiate for myself very well  
+ Would probably help me if I could be more competitive  
+ Often feel uncomfortable around others  
+ Wait for others to lead the way  
+ Could be more socially skilled  
+ Feel inadequate when introduced to new people  
+ Feel too fearful, afraid and anxious
+
+# The Ideal Future
+
+### Role Models
+- Joel Salatin
+- Fr. Boucher
+- E.F. Schumacher
+- Rafael Peschiera, Mr. Sherburne
+
+### Who do you want to be?
+I want to be someone who is strong, gentle, and virtuous. I want to be upstanding and someone my community can lean on. I want to be wise, articulate, and coherent. I want to be able to be competent in most creative things. I want to be in communication and co-creation with God.
+
+I want to be the good things in my Father and Grandfather, but also what they were not:
+- Strong - but gentle.
+- Dependable - but flexible.
+- Physically Helpful - and Emotionally Helpful.
+- Ambitious - but Humble.
+- Self-sustainable - but open.
+- Hard-working - but patient.
+
+I want to build things. I want to be able to build or fix anything I or a friend needs. I want not so much to invent new things, but refine and remix them. I like LEGOs- but I don't so much like designing them. I like combining them.
+
+I want to understand organic things. I want to understand what life is, not just machines. I want to learn the lost arts and integrate them into modern life. I want to eat food I grew, live in a house I built.
+
+I want to fix my family and lead them to God. I want to teach others and help them to be strong and competent and grow in virtue, too.
+
+### What do you want to do?
+*When are you "on"? Where do you get in productive flow and don't want to stop?*
+
+I want to make things - with my hands. I love machining. I love woodworking. I have never had a day where I was tired of the task in itself. Being able to transform 'useless' and chaotic things around me into order is beautiful. Every now and then doing a design is cool. But I want to build with my hands and use my body. I want to own the tools I use and care for them.
+
+Additionally, I want to grow things - from the soil. I don't appreciate organic things enough. I want to learn more from God's design how to structure the rest of my life in accordance with Him.
+
+I think there's too much centralization and not enough local stuff. So I really want to contribute to making and growing things locally - because I am competent in at least the realm of fabrication if not agriculture. 
+
+### Where do you want to end up?
+*Well obviously, I want to end up in Heaven.*
+
+But before that, I'd like to be on a homestead. I built the house and I'm passing it on to one of my many sons. They're taking care of it in their own unique way - which is mine, because it's his. My wife and I are settling down happily and continuing to pray to God for a peaceful rest after a life hard-lived.
+
+Before that, the kids were homeschooled. They comingled with the neighbor kids, of course (though, maybe it was a bike ride away), recieved the sacraments, and helped around the household regularly (though, they're kids, not full-time serfs. Hence why we have so many of them). I love them and they know that very intimately. We didn't just work though - we taught them the classics and the great Philosophers. My wife is much better in this regard - and she's an excellent homemaker.
+
+I built the furniture for a lot of my friend's houses. I'm not shy about teaching them, either - though actually doing the work is what I most love. I've had many kids apprentice under me over the years. Some of them run their own shops nearby. We talk shop after liturgy a lot.
+
+(Odd thought in parallel: be an architect / civil engineer. Could be a fun detour.)
+
+
+### Why do you want these things?
+I want to feast on the mysteries of the world. I want to appreciate all that I have squandered. To redeem the time. I want to understand what I'm doing. I want to know where my food came from - and where it's going. I want to have an intimate appreciation with everything around me. I want to create beautiful things. I want to see God in all things I do. I want to know God. I want to know my maker and be more like Him.
+
+Leaving something sustainable and lasting is important to me. I want to leave something that has an overflow affect and makes the community around me beautiful. I want to build soil, not force plants out of the ground with NPK. I want something that is holistically Good.
+
+I don't want to build machines, at least not ones that my fellow man can't control.
+
+### How do you plan to achieve your goals?
+
+
+### How do you plan to achieve your goals - COPY
+Well, first, I'm going to marry a woman who will support me in these endeavors - who fills in my gaps and inspires me to run this race.
+
+I'm going to buy a piece of land with a house on it. I'm going to learn about regenerative ag and build things accordingly. I'm going to get more involved with my geographic neighbors here. As this goes on, I'm going to scale back my hours I work engineering so I can be at home, and farm or workshop more. The idea will be that I earn less, but need less, too.
+
+When I need something around the stead, I'll prioritize getting a new tool (or borrowing one from my neighbor.. or makerspace) and doing the work over paying someone. Or I'll pay someone to show me because my time is valuable, still.
+
+I'll teach more classes (bi-weekly on Tuesdays?) at the makerspace.
+
+I'll network and learn from more craftsmen who aren't at the space.
+
+I'm going to put priority on things that really serve my neighbors. When I see something that looks lucrative I'll put more time into that. When I can, I'll exit my 'standard engineering job' and do whatever it is that is presenting itself to me.
+
+Eventually, I outgrow the house and start needing to build a bigger one. I'll learn from those around me who've built a house before and figure out how to do it.
+
+
+### When will you put your plans into action?
+
+I'll get engaged this winter and start house-shopping in the spring or as we determine. I'll continue reading, taking notes, and consider courses such as Joel Salatin's.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+# A Future to Avoid
+
+> You have now written about the future you would like to have. Clearly defining your future can help reduce the uncertainty in your life, and reduce the amount of negative emotion that you chronically experience, in consequence. This is good for your confidence and for your health. Having well-defined goals also increases your chances of experiencing positive emotion, as people experience most of their hope and joy and curiosity and engagement as a consequence of pursuing valued goals (and not, as people generally think, by attaining them).
+
+> It can also be very useful to deeply imagine the future you would like to avoid. You probably know people who have made very bad decisions, and who end up with a life that nobody would want. You also likely have weaknesses yourself. If you let those get out of control, then you might also end up with a miserable, painful life. Most people know how their life could go downhill if they let it.
+
+> Spend some time, now, thinking about what your life would be like if you failed to define or pursue your goals, if you let your bad habits get out of control, and if you ended up miserable, resentful and bitter. Imagine your life three to five years down the road, if you failed to stay on the path you know you should be on. Use your imagination. Draw on your knowledge of the anxiety and pain you have experienced in the past, when you have betrayed yourself.
+
+> Think about the people you know who have made bad decisions or remained indecisive, or who chronically deceive themselves or other people, or who let cynicism and anger dominate their lives. Where do you not want to be?
+
+> Dream while you write, and don't stop. Write at least until the 15 minutes have passed. Let yourself form a very clear picture of the undesirable future.
+
+### Imagine your life 3-5 years down the road if you failed to stay on the path you know you should be on.
+
+I could be sitting in an office at BAE, designing a little part of a larger machine, being a cog in a machine, having artificial light, having artificial conversations, eating artificial food. I'm renting an apartment that's forever away while my friends have all gone out and gotten married and are in the next stages of life. I own nothing and I'm miserable. My world is contracting in on itself rather than expanding.
+
+The makerspace has failed - I chased out all the good people and couldn't go out and get new ones. I don't even have that outlet anymore.
+
+I have a terrible bond with my family. I resent Deb yet I'm still helping her scrape by. I'm reading bits and pieces of inspiring articles about the life I pine for but not doing a damn thing. Well, actually, I'm doing bits and pieces there but I can't put in any systems to retain my progress. I'm just scampering up a slippery pit that keeps sucking me back down.
+
+I'm weak and sickly. I can't hike or bike much, I can't lift anything without help. I'm a terrible climber.
+
+# Actionable Steps
+
+### Things to Learn
+- Regenerative ag
+	- Composting
+	- Animal husbandry
+	- Growing crops
+- Hand tools
+	- Chisels
+	- Hand plane
+	- Shooting
+
+### Improve your Habits
+
+Increment each day you do the habit.
+
+##### Health
+- [ ] No teething at wounds
+- [ ] Drink 4L water/day
+- [ ] 5 minutes stretching / day (posture, hamstrings)
+- [ ] 15 mins exercise / day (bike, run, situps)
+
+##### Consumption
+- [ ] Only buy local meat
+- [ ] Only buy local, raw milk (except for cooking)
+- [ ] Patronize local retailers/wholesalers where possible
+	- [ ] Big box stores are on the same level as Amazon; Market Basket is OK, ACE Hardware is too.
+
+##### Tech/Media
+- [ ] NO YOUTUBE - except for videos sent to me
+- [ ] No phone use for first 30 minutes of the day
+- [ ] Write (or at least post) T&T every weekday
+
+##### Prayer
+- [ ] All the little hours
+- [ ] 15 mins in morning, 15 mins in evening in adoration / conversation with the Lord
+
+### Social Life in the Future
+
+### Liesure Activity in the Future
+
+### Family Life in the Future