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Archive/Journal/Central Condemning Thoughts (CCTs).md

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+Common core lies
+1. I am corrupt, evil, or defective.
+2. I am unworthy of being loved.
+3. I am worthless.
+4. I am unknown and personally insignificant.
+5. I am useless, helpless, and incapable.
+6. I am without support and guidance.
+7. I am deprived and hurting.
+8. I am a victim and controlled by others.
+9. I am voiceless and anxious.
+
+### Which of these do you commonly see?
+1. Eh not so much anymore. At one time w.r.t. impurity but not really anymore
+2. Not really
+3. Somewhat - self worth tied in career/standing etc
+4. Not really
+5. For things outside of my domain of expertise yeah. When I run into people in the world this vanishes unless they're actually competent
+6. Yes, bigly
+7. Wouldn't frame it this way
+8. Wouldn't frame it this way, but I do have hamstringing from my parents, or I envision as such
+9. Yeah anxious
+
+### 1. How would you phrase yours?
+1. I am unable to be good at things far abreast of my domain of expertise
+2. If I am unable to figure the thing out at first, I never will
+3. I better do something properly, with everything mapped out, otherwise I shouldn't do it
+4. People around me won't give advice and guidance without berating me
+5. People around me are incapable of giving good advice and guidance
+6. You *must* try and do the thing first before you ask for help
+7. You can't hire anyone to do the job, you have to DIY everything
+8. I have to be different and unique; I have to have an edge.
+9. I am omnicompetent out of the womb. (Yet reality shows otherwise)
+10. People don't want to help me.
+
+Boil it down:
+1. I should be perfectly competent at everything.
+	1. People will react badly if I ask for help
+	2. I shouldn't outsource work
+	3. I have to be perfect on the first shot
+	4. What I did on the first shot *is* perfect, even if evidence is contrary to this
+
+### 2. When are you most vulnerable to believe it?
+1. When I am not getting anywhere in life
+2. When I am not immediately succeeding
+3. When I am talking to someone who was "further along" in life than I am at their age
+
+### 3. What foolish strategies have you come up with to cope? Do they work? Are you sick of them? Can you renounce it?
+1. Refactor problems into my own 'world'; force the problem to fit my skills
+2. Vascillate between different strategies 
+3. Reinvent the wheel
+4. Do the thing with *no* foresight whatsoever, rather than just using the foresight I have to make the best call
+5. Wait on asking for help until I've tried and failed already
+6. Just don't ask for help. Work like a dog instead.
+7. Don't learn/study/read just do the thing
+8. Don't network
+
+
+
+"Don’t turn self-examination into self-punishment.
+
+Moral OCD or spiritual perfectionism says:
+
+_**“I must root out every impure motive or I’m failing.”**_
+
+Sincerity says:
+
+_**“Lord, show me what’s true, and help me choose You again.”**_
+
+Perfectionism looks inward until you drown.
+
+Surrender looks upward—and walks on water."
+
+
+