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Archive/Journal/2924-02-12.md

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+# 12FEB2024
+
+VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVOMIT
+BLEH
+keverythgin sucks am adI juist dont want to do anything
+except maybe plant some wood
+or 
+something
+i just want to be in the shop 
+amybe 
+i can 
+d io things there
+i dkont want t io computer
+i dont want to 
+i dont  want to face the jkfailures o fthe past ywear
+i dont want them to exist
+i want want to face the failures of the past decade
+nothing ha panned out
+at all
+nothing bore fruiit
+i feel the same way did a year ago
+wHY CANT I DO ANYTHING
+groaning pains of icarnate existence
+transencendce cooped up in a human body
+and in time
+beguiled by the demonic
+oppressed
+by the world
+and by the demonic
+how is this a cross
+this is nto eveating
+this is onoy5 degredatory
+i see problems
+maybe 
+
+
+ashes
+ashes
+ashes everywhere
+out of the ashes we must come
+there is no fertility left it seems
+the seeds must be imported
+and the soil unworked
+ashes
+to dirt
+to soil