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Archive/22-DEC-2023.md

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+22-DEC-2023
+
+# Brain dump
+- Haven't talked to Jordan in a while
+- When is he getting ordained?
+- Need to mail the stuff for samaritan
+- Need to frame the township map
+- Should've got mom some chocolate for christmas (still can I guess)
+- Unsure what if anything to get grandpa - SCASC? By Hand and Eye?
+- How to I approach the family about confession?
+- What is next? I am unbooked. I am angsty.
+
+- Need to 'get right'
+- What about Jess? Do I abandon? What more must I know - or do?
+
+I am sad. Sadness of God vs. Sadness of Death
+- Sorrow for having offended God - this is a friend, foundation of Joy - leads to conversion
+- Sadness of the world
+	- Sadness over another person's good is Envy
+	- Sloth (Acedia): Not caring; sullenness, discouragement, scrupulosity
+	- The Eigth Deadly Sin: Sadness
+
+And am sad for the state of things in this world. Is this worldy sadness or is this sorrow?
+
+I feel as though I have wasted time
+	And in ways i have
+I feel strange and out of place here
+	But this is home
+		But i am not acting as such
+			I am continuing the same sins
+				run from the sins not the world
+
+Why sit behind a computer and complain, etc. when there's a whole world out there that you could be playing with?
+
+Don't assume your family is so mean. Assume they are good. Or at least act like it.
+
+
+# A Poem
+
+Man, falling
+Regretful, despairing
+Shunned the Father's love
+Barred from Above
+To the pit he sinks down
+Pursuing a false crown
+
+Ebonized Oak! Gold-Painted Foamcore! 
+Fallacious Fraternity! Pleasure Galore!
+
+A semblance of what he once knew
+And yet the meat is hard to chew
+So he gets on the grind
+He takes to the mine
+Groveling, exhausting folly
+To both the ground and his body
+
+Synthetic Sausage! Mineral Wax!
+Corrugated Chipboard! Castrated Flax!
+
+Til the oil erupts
+Filling his cup
+But do the mines run forever?
+Do they sustain his endeavors?
+His days less than grass
+Verily, they don't last
+
+Extractive Economy! Bottled Labor!
+Antisexual Life! Unearned Favor!
+
+To heaven, does he turn?
+Will he at long last learn?
+Nay! To the mines! For a cure can be found!
+He settles himself there - earthily bound.
+From earth's womb he is born
+And stands forlorn
+
+Self-Made Man! Worriless Pimp!
+Liberated Harlot! King with a Limp!
+
+His works were mighty - lofty - grand
+Of a different basis than that heavenly land
+Whose power was solar, carbonic at that
+The vision of man was surprisingly flat
+Form follows function in modules black
+Armor plating to withstand all attack
+
+Linear Intelligence! Photovoltaic Ecology!
+Pasteurized Ponds! Mechanized Polity!
+
+They lived lives extravagant
+Their work was to gallavant
+Until their time was up
+They soaked up and up
+At first with mouth and spoons
+And on their deathbeds, arms full of tubes.
+
+Corn-Fed Cowboys! Ungenerative Fetishists!
+Do-Nothing Conquerors! Intubated Tyrants!
+
+And when some grew weary of parallel line
+(While the rest thought them perfectly fine)
+He grasped at thin air - at the chaos-filled breeze
+And fired up his grinder to make sculptures with ease
+His forms were barbaric, or perhaps even worse
+Suggesting his freedom were truly a curse
+
+Smooth-Flowing Entropy! Art Deco Cars!
+Jagged Streams! Zero-Pointed Stars!
+
+When he dig just a little
+Through the topsoil, grown brittle
+A familiar impression
+Cause for depression
+Forgotten, battered
+And yet, not shattered
+
+Terrible beauty! Divine heuristics!
+Holistic function! Benevolent mystics!
+
+That heavenly radiance undergird all:
+The mines - the cities - and even the fall
+A foundation rejected but never removed
+Only painted over, her rough spots smoothed
+And what did man do then, what did he erase?
+What do we build - us natives of this place?
+
+
+# Reforms